Hateful

Warning: Hateful post.
And note: You've been warned.
Word count: 792. See, you can always write longer when you're emotionally disturbed.

That night, my friend wanted to video chat with me. So while I was chatting, my bro shouted from his room saying it was too loud, then I turned it down, and then he said it was still too loud, and then I turned it down more, and then he came to my room with the dulan look and said something like 'if you wanna turn your speaker loud, use earphone instead'. I then asked him for earphone cause I don't have one, then he said 'use your own earphone', and I said I don't have one. He then walked away without acknowledging me.

Okay I was wrong in this case because I shouldn't on the speaker for that loud at night, but then I still feel angry for him being so dulan at me. Since he already suggested a solution to solve the problem, why don't he lend me his earphone? Wasn't he contradicting himself? Although I said I was angry, but my actual feeling was in fact sad. I don't know why that I was sad, I just felt that way. Maybe it was because he ignored me while I asked for his earphone? But that doesn't matter to anyone anyway, because it is me who is having those feeling, not others.

So I told my friend to chat next time because I was emotionally disturbed, and she could see my facial expression changed 180 degree.

I know sometimes it is hard to live under the same roof with others, but we tolerate anyways, tolerate their flaws, and stuff like that. But lately I just felt that they are getting overboard. Okay fine, they want me to do this, I did. They don't want me to do that, I obeyed. But whenever I tell them something they did that I'm not happy about, they will answer me 'If you don't like what I did, why not change it back yourself?'. And instead of them obeying me, I did what they said instead.

Like for instance, the shower nozzle should normally be hanging on top. And for some reason every time after my brother used it, it would be on the floor. So I was the one who attach it back all the time. One day I went into his room asking why is it that every time he showered, the nozzle would be on the floor. I was expecting that he would say something like he would put it back next time, but instead he said 'if you don't like it that way, you can put it back yourself'. Like HELLO, I wasn't the one removing it from its original space why would I be the one who attach it back? But I still did it anyway, because I am going to use it next, not him.

And he was the one who came out with the idea of covering the drainage hole with a tile so that at night, cockroaches couldn't enter the bathroom through the drainage system. And he pass this noble task of covering that hole every night to me. Seriously, why can't you close the hole when you see that it's not covered, and leave every job to me? Obviously sometimes I will forget, and is it that hard to just cover up the hole when you see that I didn't cover it? Plus I wasn't always the last one showering so whenever he showers late at night, I would have to cover that hole for him as well. And I couldn't not cover it because I am scared of cockroaches.

I always tell myself that it's just half more year, half more year later I will be out of this house. Although I will still be coming back after finishing my studies in Australia, but at least I get to leave this house. I don't know how my future housemates will act, will they be worse, or will they be better? But that's the risk worth taking. I know you guys will not see this post but, I'm sick of you. I've been having the same feeling throughout these years, but you don't seem to notice because you are just too self centered.

Okay this has officially became my 1st hate post about my family. But wtv. Life is not just a bed of roses, and even though it is, that bed of roses will still have thorns on it.

Comments disallowed because I don't want some ppl leaving craps like 'oh you are just a spoiled brat who thinks too much' or 'maybe you did something to them that is worse than what they did to you'. These are just my rants and I've already warned you so yea.

Still Alive

I notice that I'd disappeared from blogging for the past weeks, or month? All thanks to the sudden burst of assignments.

So firstly I thought after finished with the biomed and micro report write-up I would be a free man. But noooo, those were just an indication of the start of the shit ass assignment month. We had biochem and biology and biomed write-up due at the same day, which was mad crazy we even begged the biomed lecturer to postpone the write-up so that we could concentrate on those two shits. And fortunately, he did, so after finishing biochem and biology, I rushed through to finish the biomed write-up only to realize that my marks has downgraded as compared to the first write-up I did. Anyways that was not the end of it, micro has another report due at the same week, which contributed my sleepless nights.. Just when I thought everything is over, we were required to hand in the micro lab notebook for marking, and that was worth 5% total, which is crap because obviously my notebook is shit, and that means that I have to redo another new notebook for it and make it look old. So while doing I kept scrolling the book so that it doesn't look new. What a drama.

Phew, even typing that paragraph above makes me sigh. But I am glad that everything is over, or is it...

Obviously it is not over yet. Still got finals ma. But I'm still glad that there will be no assignments for this semester anymore.

I've lost contact with the movie world for the whole month I only know there's a movie called Prince of Persia? Nevertheless I haven't watched it yet. Instead bgf and I opt for the movie 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' because my mom said that it's good (she's a fan of horror and thriller).


And seriously, it was scarier than 'Orphan'. The weird thing was that we were apparently the only 2 people who screamed and shouted, everyone else just seemed so calm. Not scary mehhh??? Boo =|

Anyway I remembered seeing this movie before, then after watching for 10 minutes I realized 'The Simpsons' did a parody of this movie in Season 7.

The Simpsons - Nightmare On Evergreen Terrace - View more free videos

So that explains why it looked so familiar.. Although I still like the original version rather than a parody.

I should be writing more frequently after my finals, or at least I hope.. Honestly it's gonna be a tough week next week =(

Past Week's Happening

Spent my one week time to finish my microbiology report. It was actually a compilation of 5 practicals. In the end I utilized all the time given, submitted last minute via turnitin (a stupid anti-plagiarism program developed by someone who everyone hates), thinking 'die lo dunno they still accept or not leh, already past the submission time for 2 minutes dee!'

Anyway managed to submit after passed the submission time. Walau heart beat like max, like decoding bomb like that -.-

Although did submit, didn't manage to cite everything used. Now I know doing reference list takes such a long time. Next time should use lesser source.


My bed the day before submission. Didn't sleep for the whole night, like 24 hour McD.


The last practical session for biochemistry. Thanks much to my lab partners =))
But the report is not submitted yet ><


Biomedical practical. Stuck electrodes on the hand to measure the electrical activity. Aih, everything I talked about revolves around practical sessions. What to do, nerd ma.

And I look like a girl in the last photo. Yes? No?

A Time for Breath, but Emo

It was a busy week. Well, not really. Having to submit a report in a week's time is no biggie compared to those who have to hand in 6 assignments once their 2 week holiday ends. Too bad it was a scientific report, which I had to include junks of terms that I'm not very sure what they actually mean. That aside, one of my group mates were so hardworking (or in the Malaysian's term: kiasu) she asked us to search for journals relating to our objective of the report, even before the start of the experiment. Funny, if you don't know what variables are you using how could you search a specific journal? But neeway I'm totally fine with that idea, until I got sick.

I had a severe stomachache, which pain was periodic. But once it comes, I couldn't even walk. I suspected food poisoning. My friend thought it was gastric, but it didn't get any better once the gastric pills were taken, it was confirmed.

The next day, I had a fever. I was freezing in the lab until the extent of wearing 2 lab coats. I could wake up in the middle of the night shivering once the medicine passed its time. How could I possibly cope with all these while having to submit the report? Medicine. The paracetamol I took for the past week were uncountable.

Luckily everything went down days before the dateline. And today was the official submission day. I could finally take a breath.

Ironically, I got a little emo for some reason. Typical reason. 'He has it, I oso wan~~'. Get the idea? Like small kids. I thought substituting something over the thing you want would decrease your temptation, but once the craving is there, it will remain, until you forget. As though substituting an apple with an orange. They are both fruits, but they're just different. Point of satisfaction? Zero. I also wan durian runtuh~~~

And when I wanna find someone to talk to, there is no one. Friday night and I'm alone. Okay la someone asked me out but I didn't sleep yesterday to finish my report so I declined.

Where are you when I need you the most, msn buddy?

Never Fails to Amaze Me

No matter how many times I baked a cake, be it butter, cheese, or sponge, it never fails to amaze me that how simple ingredients can transform into a cake.

Something as simple as eggs

After whisking for 5 minutes. Eh, why slightly whiter than the usual beaten eggs we use to cook scrambled eggs one?

After adding sugar and more whisking. Wtf even whiter, like snow white!

Add butter + flour, become the usual batter texture.

And pimply cake as a final product.

I still don't get why beating the mixture will change the texture and color one? Try mixing everything at once and bake without whisking and see if the end product is edible or not xD

Untitled

Just when everyone else turn their back against you, you know that I'll never reject you, and that's why you wanna make up with me. Well guess what, I still accept you anyways, after all those things that you've done. Congratulations, now I feel so stupid..

Well, since this blog is meant to make me think positive, I should look from the other perspective. At least now I have 1 more friend and less 1 enemy right? right? right??

Sour

When you're emotional, sourness doesn't have to be tasted with your tongue. My heart is sour, literally. I can feel it getting dehydrated as though after tasting a lemon. Like this emoticon >.<

It shouldn't be like that. I should be happy for thee, for thee have found the one, the one who can see thee (humming Avatar's "I See You").


When thee have thou seeing eye,
I hope thee does not look behind,
For I am still standing still,
Not moving an inch forward,
For the past have haunted me,
That I lose my will to walk,
Never let me hold back thou life,
Life's brief candle,
I am and will be fine,
For this is not my first time alone.

Wtf am I writing? If you can understand what this means, you're really a genius, because I myself couldn't analyze what I've written as well. I am guessing this whole post can be summarized into 1 sentence: I'm sad.

PS: When you see me standing there alone, do you mind accompanying me for awhile?
PPS: And if you're the one, you will hold my hand, and guide me to walk again, and that I will not be left behind again...