Amphetamine

I just watched this film, it's a homosexual movie which merely its title interested me to take the trouble to watch it.



For the first 30 minutes I kept telling myself why did I waste my time watching this movie? It did not really grab my attention, but I kept watching it since I had nothing better to do. It has plenty of gay nudity inside which may disgust some people, but I find it bearable still.

It's about a story of a gay guy meeting a straight addict which for some reason managed to turn him slightly gay and then become straight again and then I don't know what anymore. There are some parts that confuse me, like why did the gay guy have sex with a lady, and how could the lady just forgive the straight guy after he raped her, and stuff like that.

But the weird thing is after I'd finished watching the film, I got emotional. Not to say boohoo emotional, but quite strong to affect my gaming routine. When I thought about a sentence said in the movie, my mood got affected.

It says 没有戒不了的毒，只有戒不了的爱, which is quite contradicting to what happened in the story cause I presume that the drug addict did not manage to get rid of his dependent towards amphetamine, and then in the end he just jump down from the bridge and committed suicide (which I think is caused by the hallucination after taking the drug). So I guess 毒 and 爱 can hardly be given up. Sigh I don't know why, but whenever I think of the sentence which does not tally with the storyline, I will get moody. WEIRD. Anyway there are plenty of abstracts in this movie which leaves the spectator to have their own imagination.

Maybe I'm sad cause they both couldn't get together, maybe it's cause of the bad ending, maybe it's the drug addiction, or the rape incident, but who knows, even I don't know. I still have 1 question though, to the drug addict, why did you commit suicide? It's a question that can never be answered since I'm not a friend of the producer or something lol.

Bangkok - Pattaya - Chiang Mai - Chiang Rai

Went to Thailand on the 4th of December till the 11th, a total of 8 days 7 nights trip. Considered quite long of a duration since it's just Thailand.

At first I really didn't wanna go. More like my mom forced me to cause she was kinda forced to go herself too, just to take care of my grandparents, and she said like she will be sleeping with another stranger in the same room cause no one is following her and kasihan stuff like that so I decided to follow her anyways.

And then I cried on the plane, cause of the small small things that happened from the airport to boarding the plane which caused me to stress up. And the lady sitting in front of me without any courteous looked at me thinking wtf is wrong with this selfish teen (that's what I assumed), and I stared back at her cause she stared at me first.

Fortunately they serve red wine on the plane and I drank 4 cups and mabuk mabuk when we reached Bangkok and I pushed the trolley of luggage in zigzag motion @.@

I couldn't really exactly remember what happened throughout the 8 days because I was too lazy to jot down and once I came back I was lazy to update my blog immediately too so.. I forgot.


One of the dogs in the temple, they are everywhere, but this 1 is particularly cute~


Kacau-mengacau hehe


The long neck woman selling scarves


And the family


Seal dancing~ It looks quite lame in the photo but they were so obedient kay!


Dolphins jumping loop. Also very geng but cannot be expressed much in this photo cause in real life that loop was so high up in air


Elephant kicking football, the Thais sure know how to train animals, what animals haven't they trained before?


Bai posey somemore


Elephant drawing tree, wow


Elephant riding a specially-made-for-it bike


Man standing on standing elephant


The white temple in somewhere, bought a new sunglasses~


The garden near the King's mom's house somewhere






Bangkok viewed from the 88th floor of the tallest building which I kinda forgot its name


The coral beach~


Paragliding and that's me, was hoping the photographer can have a bigger shot cause I really tried hard posing from the sky. Look at my artistic legs!


This is a fake Lady Gaga, actually a Man Gaga


Yup is the famous agua


So beautiful can't really tell the difference, another Thai's speciality



There are so many other photos in my phone but for some reason my pc is pms-ing so I can't transfer them into my pc, and now my bluetooth mouse cannot be detected as well so I am very bik qik now.

Results

And the results were finally out. It's totally out of what I'd predicted previously based on my method of studying. I just got a mere passing grade for all of my subjects. Not a credit, not even higher, just a pass.

'Well, as long as you passed, that's all that matter', people would usually tell me this to comfort me, but deep down somewhere there's this little voice that says 'it's not okay to just pass, aim higher!', and yeap, that should be the reality of life. Passing the course is not an option, getting a good grade is.

Unless if I don't plan to further my studies anymore and just stick to Bachelor of Science, yes just passing may be the minimal requirement, but what if I plan to pursue dentistry, or maybe physiotherapy? It's now not the matter of passing or not. The requirements are tremendous. They need an overall D grade to at least be able to apply, and that's not a guaranteed 100% enrollment too, and D stands for distinction, not that D grade we used to hear in primary or secondary schools.

So in UQ, a mere pass stands for the grade of 4. I got three 4s. 444. I hit the jackpot, but not 777 (HD), I got 444(P).

Just went to a gathering and heard quite a number of my friends talking about getting good grades and stuff. Yea I should congratulate them, but at the same time I wanna find a hole and hide myself and never come back out again and hopefully someone will fill up the hole with soil together with me or something.

What I cannot stand most is when someone gets a better grade than I am and kept complaining that they should get a higher grade. It's like getting a 90% out of 100 and questioning themselves why can't they get 100%. I don't mind that they have that thought because everyone should aim high, but why complain to me when I myself already feel like dying, do you want me to cheer you up? What about me? Who's cheering me up?

Sometimes people have problem but they themselves forget that other people too have their own problems.

Anyway let's just hope that I will get a better score in my 3rd year and hopefully everything will go according to plan. Ups and downs, they're just parts of life.